“Ho-how am I supposed to choose?” Buffy whirled around to face Willow and Tara, “I can’t chose how Faith’s life turns out, it should be up to her not up to me. How can it be up to me to just erase the twenty years she’s already lived? What sort of deal is that?”

Willow and Tara shot the blonde Slayer sympathetic looks knowing that she had been put in an almost impossible situation. Choosing one path would provide a secure future for herself and Dawn but would take the risk that Faith may well never be truly happy, whilst the other ensured that Faith would get the childhood she had missed out on the first time round but would mean that she would have to work harder to provide for the three of them.

“What should I do?” she asked the two witches, the desperation in her voice shining out through her tear soaked eyes, “how do I choose?”

“I don’t know Buffy,” Willow said placing her hand on her friend’s arm, “but whatever decision you make you know that all of us will support you in it.”

“M-maybe we should talk to Mr. Giles,” Tara suggested.

“Tomorrow, I-I just want to think about this before I talk to him,” Buffy said.

They walked the rest of the way back to the house in silence and after thanking Spike and saying goodnight to Willow and Tara the blonde Slayer walked upstairs towards her bedroom. She caught sight of a photo in the hallway of herself, Dawn and her mother and ran her fingertips lightly over her mother’s smiling face. Her mother would say that she just wanted them to be happy in whatever decision she made. Her sister’s blue eyes stared out at her from the photo, whatever decision she made would not only effect herself and Faith it would have consequences for Dawn as well. She knew she would have to speak with Dawn before she made the final decision but her sister was at Janice’s house so that would have to wait until morning.

Her bedroom was dark and the door was left slightly ajar so Spike could hear if the baby needed him. Closing the door softly behind her she looked down at Faith who was fast asleep on her stomach in the crib and couldn’t stop the soft smile that broke out across her face. Leaning down she kissed the baby gently on the top of her head and moved the pacifier that had fallen out of her mouth so that it was in reach if she woke up during the night. She changed into her pyjamas without turning on the lights, one of the advantages of having Slayer powers and sighed as she got under the covers.

Her heart and her head were pulling her in two separate directions. Her head was saying turning Faith back would be the most sensible idea but her heart was aching at the thought of not having the baby in her life. She knew her life was hardly baby friendly what with the late night slaying and the many demons that wanted her dead, was she crazy for wanting to keep Faith like she was?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft cry of “Beebee,” from the crib and she got out of bed and padded across the room. She was met with big brown eyes that shone in the moonlight and chubby arms that reached up for her when the infant saw her looking over the side of the crib.

“Hey baby,” she said lifting Faith out of the crib and pulling her close, taking the time to memorise the way she felt in her arms and the way she smelt knowing that this could very well be one of the last times she held her, “How are those teeth are they still hurting?” she asked picking up Mr. Gordo and one of Faith’s pacifiers from the crib before taking them all back over to her bed.

“You think you could make this decision for me, maybe give me a sign which way you want it to go?” she asked Faith as she settled the two of them under the covers, her back against the headboard and Faith resting on her chest. Faith’s only reply was a contented sigh as she grabbed one of Buffy’s fingers and stuck it in her mouth where her sore gums were, her eyes drifting shut as she chewed.

“You’re not making it any easier,” Buffy whispered wincing when the tip of Faith’s tooth dug into her finger.

“Mmmm,” Faith mumbled snuggling in where she lay.

“We’ll make Dawn choose,” Buffy said moving down so she lay on her back Faith still resting against her, “Then we can blame her if things turn bad,” she sighed closing her eyes, “It’s not shirking the responsibility if it involves her as well,” she told the darkness.

************************************************************************************************

“Oh grumpy baby grumpy baby,” Buffy cooed bouncing Faith on her hip. The two of them were in the kitchen with Willow and Tara who were making breakfast.

“Are her teeth still hurting her?” Willow asked handing Buffy a bottle of baby formula. They had tried to feed her some rice cereal but Faith had refused to open her mouth screaming as she sat in her high chair reaching out for Buffy to hold her.

“Yeah, you can feel it just under the gum. We should pick up a teething ring on our way to Giles’ to save my fingers,” Buffy said handing Faith the bottle. The infant took it from her, her cries ceasing as she rested her head against Buffy’s shoulder as she drank.

“Do we need to? I mean is that the way you’ve decided to go because o-otherwise buying baby stuff is not really necessary,” Willow said.

“I, uh I think I need to talk to Dawn before I decide for sure,” Buffy said rubbing Faith’s back.

“That’s f-fair,” Tara smiled handing the blonde Slayer a bit of buttered toast.

“Speak of the devil,” Willow smiled at the teenager who walked in through the back door overnight bag in hand.

“Who you calling the devil witch?” Dawn smirked snatching Buffy’s bit of toast from her hand and giving Faith a kiss on the top of the head. Faith looked up and gave the teenager a soft smile reaching her hands out to the teen and dropping the bottle on the floor in the process.

“Aww did you miss your Auntie Dawn?” Dawn asked taking the baby and twirling round in the air before resting Faith on her hip.

“You’re Auntie Dawn now?” Willow asked quirking an eyebrow at the brunette.

“Well I figured if everyone think she’s Buffy’s daughter then I better embrace being Auntie Dawn,” the teen shrugged bouncing Faith who had started to grumble.

“’Nie,” Faith grumbled trying to reach for the teenager’s hand.

“She’s a bit grumpy this morning,” Buffy said grabbing her toast back from Dawn.

“Aww poor Faithy we’ll have to change that won’t we,” Dawn said lifting Faith up and blowing a raspberry on the baby’s stomach making her squeal with laughter.

Buffy watched the two of them her heart squeezing as Dawn spoke to the baby telling her about what she had done whilst at Janice’s house. Faith for her part listened intently with her own hands stuck firmly in her mouth.

“Dawn,” she said softly, “I have to talk to you.”

“What of mine did you break?” Dawn asked looking up abruptly.

“Geez you break something one time and from then on everyone always jumps to conclusions,” Buffy grumbled, “I didn’t break anything I just need to talk to you about something.”

“It wasn’t just one time and no matter how much you glue it CD stand is never going to look the same,” Dawn said following Buffy out of the room and up the stairs.

“I had a visit from the Absentitus demon last night and he basically laid it all out for me, why he changed Faith,” Buffy said taking Faith from Dawn and changing her diaper.

“What did he say?” Dawn asked sitting down on Buffy’s bed.

“He said that he changed her for both of us, she was, she was struggling being here and me being back and how happy everyone was about that was making her begin to miss what she never had. I, well you know you saw how I was when I first came back, it was hard for me and he said by changing her it would help me to feel,” Buffy said running the back of her fingers down Faith’s cheek as she lay on the makeshift changing table.

“It has helped,” Dawn said softly making Buffy look over at her, “You’re different Buffy, happier, we’ve all seen it, you’re back to how you were before you died. I missed you, I mean I was happy, more than happy that you were back but you weren’t the same but now, it’s like having the old you back,” Dawn sniffled biting her lip.

“I’m so sorry Dawnie, I didn’t mean to be so distant it was just so hard being back, and not because I was back with you guys it was just being back in general, it was so harsh and hard compared to where I had been it was hard to deal at first,” Buffy said picking Faith up and handing her over to Dawn before moving over to the closet.

“I know it was hard for you but I’m just glad the real you is back,” Dawn said pulling a face at Faith making the baby giggle, “Is that all the demon said?”

“No, he said the Powers are offering me a deal,” Buffy said pulling out a pair of denim shorts and grey and white striped tank top for Faith to wear.

“What kind of deal?” Dawn asked holding Faith still while Buffy put the clothes on her.

“He said as a reward for all that I have given up for them that I have two choices. I can choose to turn Faith back into an adult and they will make it so we never have to worry about our finances ever again, your college the house everything will be taken care of,” Buffy said pulling the tank over Faith’s head.

“Or,” Dawn prodded knowing that her sister had to be struggling with the decision.

“Or we can keep Faith as a baby and give her back the childhood and innocence that she lost and the money situation will remain the same,” Buffy sighed coming to sit next to them on the bed and playing with Faith’s feet.

“Wow,” Dawn said.

“Yeah,” Buffy replied.

“So do you know what you want to do?” Dawn asked.

“I think I know what I want to do but I wanted to talk to you about it first. It’s going to impact your life as much as mine maybe even more so I guess I wanted to know what you wanted to do before I made my decision,” Buffy said looking Dawn in the eye.

“I know what we should do,” Dawn nodded.

“Just like that you’ve already made your decision, ‘cause this has been playing on my mind all night.”

“Yeah but you’re an over thinker you over think me I’m an under thinker I under think.”

“Clearly or you wouldn’t have called yourself an under thinker,” the blonde Slayer smirked.

“What, shut up, you shouldn’t be teasing me in front of Faith you might teach her bad habits.”

“She can’t possibly know what teasing is she’s not even one.”

“You’d be surprised what she can pick up, I’ve been Googling it’s fascinating.”

“You frighten me.”

“So’s your face.”

“What, Dawn that doesn’t even make sense.”

“So’s your face.”

“Clearly you were dropped on your head as a baby.”

“So’s your face.”

“If I kill you will that teach Faith bad habits?”

“No but she’ll never forgive you for killing her favourite Auntie Dawn.”

“How much longer do you think you want to stay Auntie Dawn?”

“I’m pretty happy with a forever type of deal.”